Last Post

I have been away from Italy and back in London for a good two weeks now.  Having taken my first real "chill out time" walk around Hyde Park in the autumn sunshine, and having spent my first two weeks back in the London office doing training, I'm ready to finish this blog.

Rome was... like the friend who you like but who tries a bit too hard to make you like them.  You know you should put more effort in, but they're exhausting and you can't be bothered to find the hidden parts.  I suspect that part of this was being in a language school, where everyone was on holiday/a tourist, as opposed to my time in Milan where I had a ready-made network due to work.  I did meet some people from the Rome office (who were lovely) and I suspect that if I'd been out there longer, I'd have seen them more.

Still, I spoke a lot of Italian and I think my level improved, which was the aim.  The people in the Rome office who I met, I never actually spoke English with (exception of one girl who was half English), which is somewhat of an achievement.

Said Italian has now deteriorated.  Merda.

London has, aside from nightmare flat situations and spending two weeks on various friends' floors/spare beds, been rather fun.  I know I out myself as a bit of a gimp here, but I'm actually looking forward to starting real work as a financial regulatory lawyer.  Terrifying, of course - the expectation is rather higher than being a trainee and there's no easy get-out after 3/6 months.  However, I've seen the team a couple of times at social events or team meetings and it is actually really nice to see them again.  This might also be tied with my general "make the best of whichever situation you find yourself in" attitude - it hit with departments and with cities.  To be aware of in the future.

Overall?  Milan, you rock.  I will miss my friends there, but I will go back to see them.

PS - the Italian for LHAS?  Probably FUS ("facciamo una seratona" - "let's have a big night out").

Highlights of my Milanese adventures

As I approach the end of my secondment in Milan (next Friday!), I thought now might be the time to reflect on some of the amazing experience I've been through.  Of course, this list is not exhaustive and I hope to have more adventures in Rome, but for now, I set out the below.

-  the atmosphere after Italy beat Germany to go through to the final of Euro 2012
-  nights out at Just Cavalli
-  riding on the back of a "motorino" through the deserted nighttime streets of Milan (don't tell my mother)
-  aperitivo and various lunches with the finance trainees (LADS)
-  sushi, prosecco, gelato and catching up with Italian girl bestie
-  being able to, if not quite hold my own, at least not feel completely out of my depth when speaking Italian with Italians
-  spontaneous steak dinner outside late at night with the other trainees
-  reading in my room with a view over Lake Como on a Saturday afternoon
-  eating gelato in the early evening watching the sun set over Lake Como
-  dramas with Italian boys
-  gazing out over Turin from the top of the hill just before a thunderstorm hits
-  an amazing shopping trip to Serravalle with Ruth, my secondee bestie
-  Ruth's genius comments including "portfolio", "spread the risk", "short nightie" etc.
-  afternoons at 10 Corso Como
-  being fortunate enough to go to an opera and a couple of recitals at La Scala
-  random invites to dinner/drinks/cities and just being spontaneous with accepting invitations
-  getting to know the trainees, even if it was towards the end of my secondment
-  brunches with various visitors and a new-old friend from uni
-  the people generally

It's all gone a bit wrong

It has, quite frankly, been a bit of a terrible week.  Usually my life is pretty awesome (that's not me showing off, this is fact).  However, this week:

1)  I worked on both of the bank holidays.  During a week which most of the rest of Italy have off.  GRR.  Loads of corporate work because Italy is unable to sort out its workload and plan properly.

2)  One of those days, I was going to work from home (not cool, but could be worse).  However, my computer decided that it was going to downwards-spiral itself into further oblivion and not allow me to work on Word without it crashing.  Every.  Two.  Minutes.

3)  The flat I was going to move to has fallen through because the landlord wanted a (completely non-market standard) lease of three years.  Forget that!

4)  As a result of the above, my financial situation is more unstable and I was thus unable to go to Liguria this weekend.  Also because of potential work.  Also because Jen and Jon (LOVELY LOVELY PEOPLE) went flat-hunting for me and I had to be by computer and phone.

5)  I finished my training contract and am thus no longer a trainee (am not a qualified solicitor until I get my practicing certificate).  Of course, this is a good thing, but it is also a terrifying thing.

6)  I just had a quite scary experience with my neighbour.  He rang my doorbell and introduced himself and invited me to his restaurant for a dinner/drinks and was not put off by my "oh but I just ate" (which was true) etc.  Given that this guy has seen me off my face drunk being brought home by my friends and called me "bellissima" and "dolce", I suspect he was after one thing.  Bit terrifying as he is a) quite a lot bigger than me and b) lives so close.  Ummm not interested.  I had to escape, by texting him (he got my number and didn't fall for my giving him the wrong number trick) and then escaping out of flat to other place.   10 Corso Como was closed (!) so I spent the evening in Armani Bamboo Bar, which does have phenomenal air conditioning.


So overall, not ideal!!!!  Still, it can only get better, right?

Being an adult

It seems that the closer I get to qualification (3 days until finishing the training contract, 17 days until I am hopefully put onto the Roll and can thus "hold myself out as being a qualified solicitor"), the more certain, more mundane, parts of my life seem to be falling apart.

Tasks that I have become truly terrible at of late:  doing laundry on a regular basis (as opposed to waiting until you're approaching running out of pants or the top you want to wear isn't clean); having a stocked fridge/having anything in the fridge that isn't salad or prosecco; cooking; cleaning on a regular basis; managing one's money sensibly rather than buying the occasional pair of ludicrously expensive but beautiful shoes, und so weiter.

These are all household tasks, ones which I am sure I used to be good at at university but seem to be doing less and less.

However, when I compare to the other things that I do, I'm not so sure it's really a problem.  They're hardly the same as winning at life.  I've managed to somehow get a job in the department I wanted to, in London (which is no minor feat), having spent a fabulous 6 months in Milan, learning Italian, running around with my Italian friends, visiting places and overall gathering stories.  Surely, in the dark days and nights in the office, noone is going to want to hear about how I spent my life cleaning my flat, they're going to be far more interested in hearing about crazy Italian nightclubs, aperitivo in designer bars and nights where you get whisked off on a scooter.

That's how I'd rather live.  So I guess I'll carry on, even if it's the archetypal definition of "hot mess".  London, I'm ready.




"But now, my love, we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere." – A.S. Byatt, Possession




***EDIT***  I am now no longer ready.  As expected, ever closer to qualification, something ELSE has gone wrong and it seems like my flat has completely fallen through.  So back to the drawing board on finding somewhere else to live.  This is bullshit.

Songs that will ever remind me of my time in Milan plus a selection of lyrics

Well, as much as I don't want it to end, my time in Milan is coming to a close.  In three weeks' time I shall be heading down to Rome to focus on my Italian for four weeks (as noted this weekend, my Italian is currently much better than my French and I hope to improve it further).

With brief explanations as to why (for some there are reasons, for others there are not), I include below a selection of songs which will always remind me of Milan.


1)  Goodbye Kiss by Kasabian

Doomed from the start

We met with a goodbye kiss

I broke my wrist

A good friend told me about this song quite early on in the secondment.  It's so unlike other Kasabian songs and has such lovely lyrics.  This will be the song that makes me cry a little.

2)  Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

I didn't know I would feel it

But it's in my way

[Literally, there are no good lyrics in this song, but it's so damn catchy]

Thanks to Belinda for bringing this "amazing" tune into my life.  However, the topless Abercrombie version makes it worthwhile.  Look out for Milan in the video.

3)   Come Back Little Star by Patterson Hood

I'm not really mad

Mean I'm trying hard to understand

We both have these dreams too long

To let them slip through your hands

I've got a drink or two myself to control the sting

Standard blown to tatters

When you traded in your wheels for wings

[In contrast to the aforementioned song, this song is full of beautiful lyrics]

A lazy Sunday afternoon whilst a storm was raging outside lead me to this beautiful beautiful song

4)   Without You by David Guetta and Usher

I can't quit now, this can't be right  

I can't take one more sleepless night  

Without you, without you

No real reason, but it's awesome.

5)  Heroes by David Bowie 

Though nothing,
nothing will keep us together
We can beat them, for ever and ever
Oh we can be Heroes,
just for one day

 Olympic madness, Team GB forever.

6)  Promises (Skrillex remix) by Nero

And you keep telling me,
Telling me that you'll be sweet,
And you'll never want to leave my side,
As long as I don't break these...

Promises, and they still feel all so wasted on myself

Sad lyrics over dubstep.  What's not to love?

7)  Hangover by Taio Cruz

I got a hangover, wo-oh!
I've been drinking too much for sure

Meravigliosa Mantova

Continuing my tour of small towns of Northern Italy (especially those that feature in the works of Shakespeare), I made it to Mantua (Italian name - Mantova).  Not much to say - small town, very pretty, great gelato (obvs), Palazzo Ducale was lovely but damaged by the earthquakes that hit here a couple of months ago.

Very little else to say, so here are some more photos...

On anxiety and aperitivo

"From the moment that you realize  
Most of this ain't real  
To the moment that you decide 
Shall we go out tonight
And we'll swim from these island shores  
'Til there's a fear of drowning "
(British Sea Power)

I've been a little quiet on the blog for a while.  This is due to a combination of 2 weeks' tough work for a closing and a week of aperitivo.  So work and socialising.  Plus ça change...

I've found myself becoming a little more contemplative as the number of days until qualification becomes rapidly smaller.  Perhaps it is the feeling that I should be a little more serious about myself now that I'm about to take on a "real job" (being a trainee, of course, is not real).

Something that I've noticed, perhaps unsurprisingly, amongst my compadres (myself included) at work is a certain level of anxiety relating to work.  For me, this manifests itself in a constant paranoia that I've done something wrong.  For example, after doing a task at work, on the way home, I suddenly realised that the document had crashed halfway through and I might not have saved the document sufficiently soon.  Obviously, I had, and the whole worry was for nothing.  But this was merely one example.  All the time, I see people working ridiculously hard on things or being strongly affected by events at work and I'm not sure it should be like that.  

However, can I honestly say that I would be as good at my job if I weren't quite so anxious about getting it right all the time? (I am assuming, for the sake of this post, that I am reasonably good at my job, however I might feel about it.)  Probably not.  I love my job, and am perhaps one of the few people who can say that, hand on heart.  I suppose the question ought to be "to what extent can one remove the anxiety to not make us miserable, whilst still retaining the same level of achievement?".  Perhaps this is what makes us good lawyers.  Perhaps there is no alternative, and in the jobs which I seek where I find the challenge in itself to be rewarding, there will always be that certain fundamental level of angst.

At least I'm not a transactional lawyer.  I think that would be a step too far on the path to mental breakdown.

On a lighter note, since things became a little quieter, I have been taking advantage by going out for aperitivo every night this week.  Excellent.  Of course, I will not be able to do this in London, so now is the time.  We also had a totally spontaneous night out at Just Cavalli Hollywood, which is an excellent club, full of good looking people and Eurotrash, people dressed to impress, people splashing the cash, excellent tunes.  Great night.

McQueen

In a week when there's been fascinating news such as the unfolding of the LIBOR rate-fixing, Andy Murray making it to the Wimbledon final (and well done lad) and, of course, my physics roots manifesting themselves as CERN fangirl when the Higgs Boson was announced, it seems somewhat trite to discuss what I've been up to.

However, onwards we must.  Work has picked up, I'm doing a lot of translations for client BD, as well as some actual transactional work.  Transactional work makes me anxious and ill, so it is probably better that I'm not qualifying into a transactional team.  The closing seems to be actually happening, however, so I will sort of be on standby tomorrow.

Other than that, life continues.  I went to the sales with a couple of friends.  Fun, but I only bought a scarf.  Admittedly, an Alexander McQueen froth sull scarf in black and grey, but nothing else. 

 Subtle skull - only visible when spreading out the scarf over large surface (i.e., orange bed).

If I have to cover my head in the Vatican, I will do so, but in a fairly irreverent way.  Atheism win.

My Italian seems to have picked up again, after a while in the doldrums.  It helps that I get to talk about "il bosone di Higgs" where all the language is THE SAME.  I'm hoping this high continues, such that on Friday, when we have a trainee dinner and social, I will not sound like a total 'tard.  After all, I've been here for nearly 4 months now.

Varenna, and my current level of Italian

I have been up to il Lago di Como before (to the towns of Como and Brunate, with Aislin, see here).  However, the onset of hot weather in Milan, combined with a rather busy week and the then-oncoming Greek elections with the potential for work to skyrocket as a result of the Eurozone crisis, lead to me to take advantage of a free weekend to go to Varenna for the weekend.  I just about managed to get a hotel booked around 11.30pm on a Friday (Villa Toretta, hello!).

 I arrived around 11am on Saturday morning.  Varenna is just over an hour's train journey from Milano Centrale, so extremely conveniently located...

I deliberately spent a little more money on my last-minute room booking so as to have a lake view and a terrace.  This was the view from my bed:

And this was what I spent most of my time doing. 

Literally spent the whole time sat outside, either in the shade or in the heat (it was the same temperature as Milan, approximately 30 degrees, but far less humid and with occasional lovely breezes off the lake).  All whilst wearing suncream, of course - as I told one of the associates at work, I am a Delicate Flower and will burn, but I have got far far better at dealing with hot weather and also my hair will lighten!

Yey for Kindles, yey for Italian books on the Kindle (even if I don't really understand most of it!  Must download Italian dictionary for Kindle), yey for English law cases and being a geek, yey for just sitting, listening to music and chilling out.  Very much required.

I did, of course, explore the town a little.  Beautiful.  I even found a little shop which I forgot to go back to (probably for the best...).

Loved this lettering.  1920s = beautiful.

Apart from exploring a little and reading (a lot), I sat on the lakeside and ate and drank.

With views like the below, and the setting sun behind the mountains, thoroughly recommended, despite the slightly too-touristy level of Varenna (I think they did, however, appreciate my somewhat broken Italian).

As for how the Italian is progressing... well, it's progressing.  It's been a tough week on the speaking front (or at least until mid-week).  I have been entrusted with a number of Italian-to-English translations, including a client briefing.  And I attended a very spontaneous team finance dinner, which was lovely and which I did contribute to the conversation a little!

I think the most frustrating thing, for me, is not being able to talk anywhere near as much as I'm used to.  In English I talk a lot (in case you hadn't noticed), I have some quite strong opinions, I love discussing strong opinions and the opinions of others (even, especially, when they disagree with me!), I speak quickly and I'm quite quick.  Italian slows me down, as I have to focus on understanding and to think about what I want to say.

My understanding is, however, improving.  So it's not all bad.  Given that my aim was to come back from secondment and be able to have a small conversation with someone who only spoke Italian, I think I've achieved that. My tutor tells me that we can start a new book soon which is aimed at level B1/B2.  I don't know what this means, but it sounds good.  Obviously, the more I learn, the more I realise how bad my own Italian is.  But this is as a result of being very harsh on myself.  Ultimately I started learning Italian in January of this year, have had 50 hours of (yes, one-on-one) tuition and lived here for only 3 months.  Given that, I should be pleased with the level obtained thus far.

ANYWAY a dopo!!

Finale Ligure

Long time no write... scusami.  I've poured a coffee and nibbled on an amaretti biscuit so I suppose it's time.

It's been a rather busy week, my busiest yet (it's like all the departments in the Milan office realised I was there...).  However, last weekend (before things got super hectic) I went to Finale Ligure for a day trip out of Milano.  As a resort town, it was full of faded style.  Loved it.  Could imagine it being a bit horrible and overly touristy in high summer, but as far as a day trip in early June went, it was rather nice!  Particularly since Milan ended up having atrocious weather.

I will post about Varenna (this weekend's trip) at a later date.  For now, please find attached a few of the slightly vintage-y photos taken in Finale Ligure.

Visitors

Visitors visitors visitors (like seriously, week of people visiting).  Excellent.  Am now poor and a bit fat, but happy.  Can't really be bothered to write up what we did properly, so a sample is below, along with photos.  Obvs.

Duomo; Armani; sun; brunch; D&G Gold; Armani; gelato; aperol spritz; 10 Corso Como; dancing in bars; prosecco.

Va bene.  Proper post at some point.

God Save The Brunch

Another weekend, another set of visitors.  This time, we welcomed to the Milanese fold young Jim and young Stewart, epic lads. 

The Lads arrived late on Friday night.  I, being a Lad myself, had been out for drinks with some colleagues on account of two closings in the department (and, of course, my job offer from Freshfields London).  Since everyone else there was Italian, Italian was the lingua of choice.  Obviously, I am not fluent, but things do seem to be approaching conversational at least... must learn how to ask questions better though.  But ultimately, I've been learning Italian for four months now, and I survived a bar trip with real live Italians, speaking in Italian.  I'm actually quite proud of myself.  Of course, I still have problems in most day-to-day settings, but I can see it improving.  YEY!!

Saturday midday ish was brunch at God Save The Food.  Top.  Think the Lads enjoyed it!  We got amazing juice, burgers, pancakes, yoghurt.  We wandered back to the flat, through the Navigli, past the Duomo (via Zara, obvs), and spent about an hour in the lovely Armani Caffe.  After a brief sejour at casa mia, we went back out to the Navigli/Zona Colonnes di San Lorenzo for dinner and drinks.

Sunday we mostly chilled out - brunch down the road,  wandering through a bit of Milan, views of the Duomo at the top of the Rinascente.

Excellent weekend, chaps.


Notable quotations:

-   "Check out Italian Rob!" (re a guy in Zara who looked like he could be the brother of a mutual friend)
-   "Koalas have chlamydia"
-   "My blood orange juice brings all the boys to the yard"

You can stop the girl's fashion blog...

LADS

Domination

 Rinascente/Duomo

Donuts from American Donuts

Reasons to not leave Italy

We are waiting to hear about job offers in the London office. In some ways, I don't want to know, I want to keep this Italian dream alive. Once I find out, I suppose I have to speak with the office here and then (maybe?) have to think about a decision.

I still love Italy. Admittedly, whilst the Italian is improving, it is still hard and I feel stupid a lot of the time, especially when I realise I could actually have said something (I am very hard on myself. It's how I've been this successful so far and it's how I'll stay successful). I also have never done finance before, so I feel really stupid when I can't do something, or it takes me longer. However, let's recognise that I am overly hard on myself and move on.

SO in no particular order, the following is a non-exhaustive list of reasons why if I leave Italy, I will return. And often. And hopefully live here in the future.



1) The food. Buffalo mozzarella from Campania, gelato from Grom, plates of delicious risotto, crudo, verdure grigliati, salds with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, prosecco, pesto from Genoa, chocolate from Turin. I could go on.

2) Italian as a language. So beautiful.

3) Aperol spritz.

4) Espresso.

5) The aperitivo concept in general.

6) Italian men (I am a total convert. Sorry UK, but proportion of good-looking men is much higher here).

7) Clichés - scooters, roses, late nights, coffee, people smoking cigarettes on balconies, passionate discussions one minute which don't matter 10 seconds later, speaking with gestures.

8) The fashion - it is not that it is not available in the UK, it is more that the average person in Italy (certainly in the centre of Milan) has much more innate style than the average person in the UK. This is particularly noticeable comparing standard of male fashion in London compared with Milan.

9) 10 Corso Como. It is my happy place, my aspirational place and everything I hoped it would be. It is an oasis a mere 15 minute walk from casa mia.

10) I'm just more content here, without being a million miles and a horrendously different time zone away from the important people in the UK. Contentment, without feeling like I'm escaping completely and without it being unattainable.

11) I can walk down the streets and be admired for the ginger, not shouted at (yes, that still happens).

12) The availability of Vogue Italia.

13) Armani.

14) The indescribable ambience.

15) Italian people. SO lovely.

16) Sundays being more chilled out.

17) The Italian countryside.

18) Other Italian towns.

19) Italian people on bicycles in the centre of Milan. So chic.

20) Italian men in well-cut suits and good shades, on bicycles (or generally, in fact, but especially on bicycles. Or scooters. I'll take a scooter).

21) Vespas. LOVE.

22) Lake Como (see photo), and I am sure the other Lakes are equally beautiful.

Yet again, money swapped for pretty things

Ah.  Pericoloso.

At risk of me returning to my fashion blogging roots or becoming a documentary of my downward spiral into bankruptcy, this is yet another "look!  Look at the pretty things!" blogpost.

One of the secondees and I decided we would use the opportunity of a free weekend to visit one of Milan's famous outlet villages.  Serravalle is part of the MacArthur Glen group (which notably includes the designer outlet near York, where a chunk of my wardrobe originates).  However, Serravalle is more like a village than a mall in design, with "streets" in the open air.  Perfect for a day when it reached 31 degrees C (air conditioning forces you into the shops).  I must also say that the selection of designers is considerably better and obviously focussed towards a more discerning market.  Particular favourites included the Prada outlet with far more reasonably priced items than you'd expect, and a Burberry store.  Yes, a British brand, but a British brand which commands respect.

My friend and I had agreed on spending limits and on certain aims.  Hers included posh trousers/cropped trousers suitable for work and spring blouses.  Mine included work clothes, accessories and summer shoes.

Given that we had such aims, that we achieved these fairly admirably - it is, after all, difficult to set solid aims in an outlet mall where choice of stock that one would ever purchase can be limited.  My friend did buy some lovely trousers from Missoni but also invested in a fabulous beige trench coat from Burberry.  Absolutely classic.  I was incredibly jealous (the classic beige trenchcoat is not something that will ever suit my skin tone).

I, on the other, took a while to get started.  My first purchase was a red linen skirt from Prada (at €120, this was a bargain, even if I maybe need to lose about 4 pounds for it fit more comfortably... it does fit, it's just snug).  I also managed to a Philosophy di Alberta Ferreti black plain blazer for €99 and a useful clutch bag for nights out from Love Moschino.

And I thought I was done.  Until we headed back to Burberry to purchase aforementioned trenchcoat.  Near the checkouts, I caught sight of a fabulous Burberry Prorsum bag.  I returned it to the shelf, but couldn't stop looking at it.  It was one of the most beautiful bags I'd ever seen, and I am somewhat picky when it comes to bags.  It was a firm, structured bag, not too big but big enough for things like iPhone, BB, big purse, etc.  Reader, I purchased it.  I also had a rather good chat with the shop assistant, who wound up saying he loved my accent (it is, after all, a classic English accent, and I was, after all, in Burberry).

I blame my mother.  She said I was to buy something "fabulous, for her".  Mum, enjoy.

I'm now going to sit in my box and be a hermit for the next week.

 Love Moschino XX

Blazer and skirt.  Let's face it, Prada was a must

 

Navy and maroon stripes.  BEAUTY.

"Fashion Claire"

Italians are known for their style.  Nowhere is this more true than in Milan.

Given I've managed to network my way to hearing about a possible work opportunity on the basis that my shoes are really good (they are good shoes), you know you're in the right office.  Still, I was massively flattered to be complimented on this very simple dress no less than by three different people (male and female).

Yes sunglasses inside, but they were commented on too!

It's a simple white shift dress from Zara, with studs on the collar and down the back.  I wasn't sure about this dress but bought it from the amazing Zara Milan store without trying it on.  Note - usually I'd have gone for the black one hands down, but I still wasn't sure about it the morning I wore it, but as it was so sunny, I thought it was worth wearing.  Glad I did.  It went down v well, people asking where it was from.  I even got called "Fashion Claire" by a particularly stylish associate.  Which I will take and run with as the biggest compliment I may ever have received.

Clique in Torino

MMore visitors! This time, we day-tripped to Turino (oh lovely Torino) and wandered with an associate from work who is lovely (and a friend of his, who was also lovely.  Italians are great *massive stereotype but it's a positive one....*)

Sunday we had brunch at La Cantina della Vetra, which I can only recommend.  We rolled home.  The dessert table was especially good...

Photos of Torino and a generally lovely weekend?  Why not...